Honestly

Honestly, I truly just feel so damn lonely sometimes. I know that nothing is wrong with me, that I am just shy, but I think people think that people think there is something wrong with me because I don't talk. I don't make eye contact either. Or talk a lot. Does that mean there is something wrong with me? I want to talk to people, but the words never come. I feel like I have nobody. Sure, I have the people on the cross country and track team, but I feel like they are just there, not really my friends. Some of them hint things that are mean, but most of them are ok. Its weird to think that my best friend for forever is just 1 locker away from me, we never talk anymore. She has a new boyfriend, got gorgeous, and got new mean, slutty friends, and she forgot about her quiet neighbor who talked like a maniac with her, who made her feel like she had someone to talk to. I felt ok, I felt fine. Now I feel alone and empty. People can be cruel, and I honestly don't know why. They think they can hide it when they talk to people, but they let it slip to let you know what they really mean, what they really want to do.. hurt you.  I just feel so sad sometimes, like I am falling under and no one see's me slip. No one notices that I am gone, no one cares enough to help. Is that what it will be like if I disappear? No one will notice, only me? Will anyone miss me? Will they regret the things they said?